I Like Your Face.

The past two days we have been going out on village visits and these two have led me to a long-awaited realization. Lately I have been feeling out of place when we visit the villages and it was the result of usually being the only woman in gatherings of men. I felt at times like I was breaking cultural norms and being almost offensive. I don’t want to send the wrong image of Massai culture though – from what I have experienced, women are just as important as men, they just tend to stay separated. Yesterday I spent time observing and making some observations on it all and then today I decided to try something new.
Starting with yesterday’s visit I tried to focus on where the women were in relation to the men and how the kids interacted as well. Grown women seemed to stay separated while the children seemed to gravitate towards the same gender but were not exclusive by ay means (not to say that the adults avoid the opposite gender in public). It furthered something I had noticed about Tanzanian gender dynamics – women tend to gravitate towards women and men to men (again, I do not mean to say that this is exclusively a Tanzanian thing – it just feels like it sticks out more here since I am not native to this culture). Even here at the language school, the boys seem to be able to get much closer to the majority of the men here. I think that since there are boys on this trip, it makes it easier for them to gravitate towards one another. It seems to have taken me longer to develop relationships with the male teachers here than the relationship that is almost assumed between the females here and myself. But back to the village visit yesterday. I noticed a greater ease of relating to the children than the boys did. During a great deal of the service I would make faces and smile at the kids, each one warmed up to me quickly. At one point in the service, one of the young women in the choir noticed me making faces and smiling at her infant daughter (which Tim had been doing as well) and this woman came over and handed me her daughter. By the end of the service, one of the little girls that I had been making faces at came over and grabbed my hand to walk out of the church together. Then after the service, I had several girls around me and some of the women came over as well. I should add that in addition to the pictures of me and Massai men/young boys that now are almost protocol after service, the older women asked for pictures with me as well. This ease of connection with women and their children seemed to be a theme that carried over from previous visits. If I had to guess, I would probably say that it hints at the women’s role in Massai villages in comparison to men’s roles. Women tend to be the ones we see caring for the children while men are the ‘bread-winners.’ The men appear to be great and loving fathers but the women seem to be the primary caregivers.
Then today I decided to try a little experiment. While we were sitting in the church waiting for the service to start I sat on the other side of the church from my male travel companions and Moreto (who came with us once again). Moreto asked me why I was sitting by myself and after guessing that I was tired he asked if it was because I was a girl. Once the women and girls started to trickle into the church they came and sat by me. Experiment successful! The women and girls started trying to talk to me almost immediately. One girl asked if I put special medicine on my hair to make it so soft. Then she brought a book over (it was a book to teach people to read and write in Kiswahili so they cold read the Bible) and she read it with me. One woman talked to me for a little while and asked where I was staying and showed me who (of the people we were sitting by) her daughters were. Another girl asked me if I had any children. When the service started, I sat with the boys and Moreto. About halfway through the service, Moreto leaned over and told me that the girls sitting by us had been talking about how I ‘have a nice face.’ Throughout the service, I would feel someone touching my hair and by the end of the service, she was sitting next to me. We walked outside after service and all the young women (most of whom were mothers) had gathered around me and were touching my hair, feeling my skin, and asking if they could trade bracelets with me. The bracelet trade never went through but the girl who had been touching my hair through the service gave me one of her necklaces.
So I guess the lesson of my little social experiment has no conclusive results other than my assumptions – women can relate easier to the kids (it takes a lot less work for me to connect with the kids than it seems to for the boys) because they are usually the caregivers; women separate themselves from the men, and vice versa, because they relate easier to one another than to the men; women appear to be just as highly valued (if not more) as men they just perform different roles. Oh, and apparently, I ‘have a nice face.’
Peace.

P.S. Stay tuned - Pictures will be coming soon.