Sometimes God Just Knows.

We have reached the half way point in our trip – 7 weeks down (already!) and 7 left. It is a blessing as much as it is a curse. I feel like we have just gotten here but that is now how much time we have left to enjoy this beautiful place. On the other hand, it means that there is only 7 weeks until I get to see my family and friends again. I suppose this has been one of my biggest challenges here – I miss my friends and family. I have come to realize (mostly in the past couple days) that it is largely brought on by who my traveling companions are. I applied to this study broad knowing that I would be away from family and friends and I was okay with that, but I also didn’t plan on having three guys who were already best friends as my traveling companions. Don’t misunderstand me, the boys are fun and I enjoy their company. My struggle lies in the constant reminder that they are here with their best friends and they know and understand each other and each other’s pasts. It makes the trip difficult for me because I often find myself feeling like a fourth wheel (even though they sometimes try to make it not so) and then I am reminded that my friends, who know me and my past, are thousands of miles away.
I was talking to Anne (pronounced a-nn-ae), one of the Danish students here, about this feeling on our walk over to the seamstress and she echoed my feelings (she came with a newlywed Danish couple). Well, we went to the seamstress and, through broken Swahili, explained what she wanted to have made (some shirts for her niece and nephew). Then we walked back and headed to lunch, where almost everyone had already finished eating. Anne and I got to talk for quite awhile about some of the things that have been obstacles for me and my dreams. I should explain, Anne is an anthropologist who enjoys working for development (the same general thing I want to do). She spent some time in Ghana several years ago and at that point realized that she wanted to live and work abroad. We got to talking about life and dreams and love (like I said, a lot of things that have been obstacles for me). It was nice to be able to talk to someone who is farther in life than me (she is about 34), who shares my hopes and dreams, and who has experienced similar struggles. We talked for awhile about how, if at all, it is possible to have both love and still work to actualize dreams of peace, development, and justice. I suppose you could say that I found another hippie. We talked about past and present relationships. We talked about the human need to find love and companionship and how that balances (or possibly doesn’t) with doing development work. We talked about how it is so very easy to plan out the distant future and forget about the present or near future but how we need to remember to live and plan in the present and near future since you never know what the distant future will bring. We talked about how striving for development and peace is very much a counter-culture and how it is easy to lose that drive and passion by following popular culture but how it is so very important to maintain that drive and passion no matter what. We talked for almost an hour and a half and reached almost no conclusions but we found solace in our common struggles and in the fact that we are not alone in them.
I have been reminded more and more lately that a big part of living (or studying) abroad is that it teaches you more about yourself – it gives you and opportunity to step back and examine your life, actions, and inactions. I feel so very blessed for my conversation with Anne today – it reminded me that I am not alone and reminded me to reach deep within myself and work for what I want. Anne and my conversation was just another very-much needed reminder that God knows each of us and our needs and he has an amazing way of showing us his presence at the most needed times.
Peace.